Finding a Therapist

As is often the case when you get your degree in Mental Health Counseling, I get asked a lot by friends and family how to find a therapist. As a good friend of mine put it, “finding a good counselor is about as stress-free as buying a house” and that’s often because people don’t know where to start. Sure, you can log onto Psychology Today and search by your zip code, but then you still have a list 80 or so therapists to comb through.

I deeply believe in the right of all people to have the mental health care that they need and deserve and which is right for them. This may be me, this may not be. I don’t feel any resentment or unkindness towards folx who meet with or talk to me and decide I’m not for them and that’s why I’m sharing this blog post here with you today: to help you find the therapist that works for you.

Here are the top 4 tips I give to any friends or family who ask me how to find a good therapist:

1. Fit is everything.

If you don’t like them, they won’t work for you. Don’t feel bad about it, this is where you get to be judgey. This can be a process where you interview therapists and then decide. Any good therapist will understand this process and respect it. 

2. Go where the therapists are.

Psychology Today is kind of the gold standard but there are other ones popping up like Monarch which is connected to SimplePractice - one of the most popular Electronic Health Records (EHR) used by therapists. 

3. Sort therapists by what is most important to you right now.

Regardless of what site you use to find a therapist, I would recommend sorting by the issue you are primarily concerned with right now. Anxiety and depression are most therapists’ bread and butter, so try to sort by things that are a little more specialized. Is your depression caused by trauma? Sort by that. Is your anxiety caused by attachment concerns? Sort by that. If you don’t have a specialized issue that speaks to your right now, you can sort by other things that are important to you in the person you need to confide in: religious affiliation, LGBTQIA+ allyship, gender identity, etc.

4. Focus on approaches that might work for you.

This one takes a little bit more research so it may not be accessible to everyone. If you are a Therapy Veteran™, you probably have an idea of what does and doesn’t work for you. For example, having been in therapy myself for almost 20 years (yeesh), I know that Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) was great when I was first starting but isn’t my jam now; I need something more than that. Try researching some therapeutic techniques and see if anything clicks. Here is a linked list of some currently popular approaches:

These 4 tips are intended to give you a head start, but finding a therapist is a very personalized process. If you need help - even if I’m not the one for you - reach out and I’ll be happy to help you distill what you’re looking for so those search engines work more efficiently for you.

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